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 DON’T BE LEFT ALONE AT THE HOLIDAYS

10 Surprising Things That Guys Look For On First Dates

DATELINE:  HINGHAM, MA, ISSUED OCTOBER 1, 2001… 

The movies? A drink and dinner? A ballgame? What are men looking for on a first date? The answer will surprise you and maybe even shock you. 

1. Interest. Most important is to show interest. “Men don’t want to feel that they’re alone on an island,” said Paul Falzone, CEO for The Right One and Together Dating. “She needs to be interested in what they are doing together, especially the first time out.” 

2. Adventurous. No, you don’t need to skydive or swim with sharks, but stay away from the normal ideas of a movie or just a drink. “You don’t get to learn anything about your date like that,” said Falzone. “Go to the aquarium, a museum, or a street gallery. Somewhere you can learn about each other.” 

3. Smart, but not too smart. No man wants to be on a date with someone who makes him look stupid. If you’re a nuclear physicist at MIT that’s great, don’t spend the whole date talking about splitting the atom or nuclear fusion. “Being smart and very intelligent is a plus,” Falzone says. “Men can be intimidated very easily, and being with someone they feel is a lot smarter then they are, is one sure way to do it.” 

4. Look good. This doesn’t mean all decked out in Versace or Armani, but make a good impression. “If a relationship is going to last there needs to be compatibility and chemistry,” says Falzone. Good presentations can make or break a date. 

5. History. The saying goes those who don’t listen to history are doomed to repeat it. Stay away from things that didn’t work for you before, and at all costs avoid talking about old boyfriends. “Nothing puts a date on the fast track to disaster more then old boyfriends coming up,” Falzone commented. “Even if it’s meant as a joke or something you had in common, stay away!” 

6. Criticism. Everyone on a first date is being judgmental, just be sure to keep it in your internal monologue. “There’s no need to get too critical or judgmental on the first date. Keep it fun and lighthearted. Asking where someone stands on nuclear power or the battle against saving the rainforest isn’t the way to go,” said Falzone. 

7. Be reliable. If reliability is the most important thing to him, then he probably already owns a dog. You don’t need to be like Dino on the Flintstones, but you can’t be like your first car in high school. “If you say 8:00, then be on-time,” says Falzone. “Nothing can be more frustrating then being late. If you’re late on your first date, you’ll always be late for everything.” 

8. Don't look for a fight. Debate topics, don't argue them. Guys talk about the designated hitter and the dominance of Tiger Woods on weekends with their buddies. When talking about things don’t be afraid to voice your opinion, but this isn’t the Lincoln/Douglas debate. “People can have different views of things and still get along,” Falzone said. “But stay away from getting argumentative or in a stand-off.” 

9. Don’t be needy. Men are not looking for someone who clings to their every move like a sheet of Fabric Softener to their sweatshirt. “Even if you are lonely and have a need for someone, don’t dwell on it,” suggests Falzone. “Nothing is a bigger turn-off for men than the "needy" approach. Find something you both have in common and really get into it.” 

10. Men already have a mother. Telling him to wash his hands before eating or that he shouldn’t put so much salt on his meal is not the way to go. “Men are out on a date to have a good time, not to be told how to live their lives,” Falzone said. “Try not to smother them with ideas or suggestions, just keep it fun and easy.” 

High Tech Cupid

At The Right One and Together Dating, romance is facilitated by twenty-first century technology. A team of relationship experts works one on one with members using a proprietary computer hardware and software system. Developed over several years at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars, this system targets compatibility profiles and generates a specialized list of compatible referrals for members. 

Unlike other services, The Right One does not engage in any high-pressure sales tactics while striving to provide a comfortable atmosphere for all clients.  Personality profiles are also required to ensure compatible matches. 

Romance Coaching

With Romance Coaches and Together Dating on staff, clients may receive dating tips and advice as well as coaching support on an ongoing.   Romance Coaches assist with image consulting, helping them to “put their best foot forward” through the development of positive attributes of personality and appearance.  The Right One and Together Dating’s Romance Coaches have been in the dating industry for numerous years and have worked with hundreds of individuals looking to find—and those who have successfully found--“the right one”. 

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The Right One has offices and affiliates located throughout the United States, including:  California (San Diego, Sacramento, Walnut Creek, Sunnyvale and San Rafael); Colorado (Colorado Springs, Denver); Georgia (Atlanta); Hawaii (Honolulu); Illinois (Chicago, Springfield, Rockford and Bloomington); Iowa (West Des Moines, Cedar Rapids and Bettendorf); Florida (Tampa); Nebraska (Omaha and Lincoln); New Hampshire (Bedford); New Jersey (Saddlebrook); Massachusetts (Hingham, Chestnut Hill, Worcester and Woburn); Pennsylvania (King of Prussia, Pittsburgh and Monroeville); Rhode Island (Warwick); Wisconsin (Madison, Appleton); Texas (Dallas). 

North American locations and affiliates of Together Dating are:  California (Encino, Irvine and Los Angeles); Indiana (Ft. Wayne, Indianapolis, South Bend); Kansas (Wichita and Kansas City); Kentucky (Lexington, Louisville); Louisiana (New Orleans); Maryland (Columbia, Frederick); Minnesota (Minneapolis); Nevada (Reno); New Hampshire (Hooksett, Nashua, Portsmouth and Salem); New Jersey (Bridgewater, Clark, Colts Neck and Lawrenceville); North Carolina (Greensboro); Ohio (Cincinnati); Oklahoma (Oklahoma City, Tulsa); Pennsylvania (Mechanicsburg and Doylestown); South Carolina (Greenville); South Dakota (Sioux Falls); Texas (Austin, Dallas, San Antonio, Beaumont and Houston) and Virginia (Falls Church). 

For more information about The Right One® and Together®, please call (800) 818-DATE or visit www.therightone.com and www.togetherdating.com.